"would you even care..?

I understand that u don't want to talk to me, but the thing is, "i don't understand WHY we DON'T need to do it". When we have SO MUCH to fix. Are you through with me..? D'you want to prove that you're not REGRETFUL of what you did? You told me that you wanted to protect our families' so called RELATIONSHIP? Is that true? You just ruined it. Do you think my mom and dad are happy seeing me CRY over and over again?

YOUR THROUGH WITH ME. FINE, i get your point. Then why did you even have to TELL me that you want us to be friends? When all you do is snob me whenever i try to talk to you, and one more thing, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE WITH YOUR FAMILY, TO BE WITH YOU, the pain is inevitable! I feel welcome when im with them, Your siblings are treating me like i'm one of them. I'm an only child, and you should understand na NAIINGGIT ako sa'yo. Kase you have THEM. When you left me you took away two things, my heart and some of the people who made me feel that i wasn't alone. Hindi mo alam kung gano kahirap yon! I loved them wholeheartedly. Ganon ka na ba KAMANHID..? I admit that i STILL love you. Pero, hinde ako TANGA para ipagpilitan pa sarili ko sa'yo.

Nung huli kitang makasama, that's the time i felt i was really uncared for. This drunk man, binastos na ko i was really scared. pero all you did was look at me. A pitiful kind of look. Kahit katiting na proteksyon or kahit tabihan mo lang ako so as to comfort me. Wala. Wala. Kahit konti. You just stared. Are you happy? Do you think i deserve what im getting now? Then to think that you parade your women in front of my house! Your so insensitive! Ako nga i'm trying my best not to show off my suitors pag pumupunta sila dito sa bahay. Pero ikaw? D'you really need to talk OUTSIDE of your house? Para makita ko kayo? GANON?

I don't understand you. A woman's instinct is 75% right. I can see solidarity in your eyes. Naiinis akong isipin na everything will just be wasted, nang dahil sa BRAINWASH ng mga kaibigan mo.HUWAG na tayong magpataasan ng pride. If you don't care no more, tell it straight to ME. You tell me you still love me. But, i don't really know what to think.

i doubt
if my dreams will still come true"

This err, blog entry was posted way back 2006. It made me laugh because of the "Taglish" language, it was very much Kris Aquino-like also I was a blooming teenager full of angst. Haha.
I couldn't imagine how much broken hearted I was back then, well, I'm no longer that person now..i guess. :P
and uhh,I had too much grammar errors in that post (ata?), I was not really capable to express an organized thought with that entry, the ideas kept on juggling and err, the fact that I AM broken hearted in that post of mine (which I would like to remind was posted WAAAAAY back 2006) makes it a bit hilarious for me. 2 years ago huh? Well, whoever that person is. I'm glad i'm no longer attached to him..or her? haha.

This post exists to remind myself that I am a human capable to love not only in the year 2006 but also in 2008 and the years to come, I'm in a bit of a struggle now.. I think I'm no longer capable of giving love(to a person in the opposite sex and is not a relative of mine).I have disregarded inanimate emotions for such a long time now and I will not be able to in the coming years if I won't put an end to this.

I find it weird to have this kind of personality problem. I do hope I'm not the only one who's like this

Labels: food for thoughts