rainy mornings

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I woke up early this morning. Wednesdays, "no schedule on Wednesdays",I told myself. I was about to go back to sleep when I heard my phone alarmed, "7.00am Wake Up! Your brother needs to go to his doctor", I stood up, brushed my teeth and too a peak at my sleeping bro, he's only 2months old, my mum and dad both works abroad and yes, we are being taken care of our tita's and lola's.

I was soaking wet when i arrived home yesterday,now i have a runny nose and whooping coughs. So i can't bring my brother to the clinic ," 'cause he might catch some of my BACTERIA" , my lola clearly stated. I stayed in front of the computer, blog hopped, I first took a peak at my bestfriend's blog,nope..no updates yet. I was thinking of the reactions of her blockmates with regards to her newly shaved shaped *sneeze* eyebrows. Anyways, I looked at her Links and someone caught my interest, I went to his page and read some recent posts, His post Constants really, really caught my attention. It was like, "I know the struggles he's describing in his blog, i know it from somewhere..the things he is currently struggling with are like..MINE."

I feel like I am isolating myself from reality, because reality is HURTING me... I'm in current avoidance,I didn't want this, but i FELT like it's the right thing to do. I'm avoiding the things that might make me happy, make me feel more like MY PAST SELF..because my past self has weaknesses, has pains, has memories that are NOT worth remembering. I left people, deleted them from my phone book, no more jokes, no more smiles, I'm dong what I NEED to do because that is what i think is right. With that I didn't notice that i was CONSCIOUSLY removing them in my system, YES, CONSCIOUSLY, i know that I am avoiding them yet I did not do anything to save it. I can't understand anything anymore, it feels like I'm having an emotional breakdown or even a MENTAL breakdown..I don't know, but I lost the jolly side of me, I laugh and laugh..yet after the laughters i feel no subsequent happiness. I am oblivious. I've been hiding too much that I somehow forgot that I also need other people, the people who we're once a very BIG part of me.

..and everything ends to this, I tend to stay away from the people who HAD emotionally hurt me with our fights, our break up...because I don't want the SAME excruciating pain again. I need a cure with this disease I'm having because it's producing yet another quagmire in my mind...something I call the "What if's" and "Could have's".

Labels: food for thoughts

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just call me jhie

I started blogging a long time ago, but didn't have much interest in updating the page. this time I'm going to be more serious about it (really)..

..hindi to "full pledged" English blog, for I am a Filipina, I will put posts that are Tagalog, English or a combination of both. Ayokong makulong sa language na hindi naman talaga akin besides, some posts are best expressed in Tagalog. Feel free to read my blog, I may post something humorous, offensive,dramatic,egoistic..
whatever, just..BARE with me okay?

That's all teeenkyaaaw. :)

i like it when it rains, it makes me feel cozy and relaxed and gloomy all at the same time.
i eat Peanut Butter when I'm depressed. I am a mama and papa's girl. Yeah, both of 'em.
I am a singer. I like cooking very much. :) An extrovert. A Perceiving person. I think first before i act.
..and I chose to be this way..cause I'm comfortable with it. :D

my bestfriend
Niko Batallones
Lyra
RaniceDOT


Green Pinoy!
Mariano Juancho
Inday ng buhay ko
♠August 2008
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Balik Tanaw

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TENKYAW

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That's all!